Research on SNS Use and Relationship Satisfaction - Findings from Valenzuela (2014)
The relationship between social media and romantic relationship quality is a rapidly growing area of research. Valenzuela, Halpern, & Katz (2014)'s large-scale survey confirmed a weak negative correlation between Facebook usage frequency and relationship satisfaction. However, this association is not a simple causal relationship - the effect varies greatly depending on "how" SNS is used.
Clayton, Nagurney, & Smith (2013) identified "Facebook-related conflict" as a mediating variable in the impact of Facebook use on relationships. Partner behaviors on SNS (interactions with ex-partners, responses to comments from the opposite sex, keeping relationship status private) serve as conflict triggers, which in turn lead to decreased relationship satisfaction.
Conversely, Utz & Beukeboom (2011) reported that publicly expressing affection for a partner through SNS ("online relationship visibility") positively correlates with relationship satisfaction. In other words, SNS can be both a tool that threatens relationships and one that strengthens them. What determines the effect is the user's personality traits, usage patterns, and whether the couple has agreements about SNS use.
Coyne, Stockdale, Busby, Iverson, & Grant (2011) showed that the existence of rules (implicit or explicit) between couples regarding technology use is effective in reducing technology-related conflict. Couples who discuss SNS use in advance and clarify mutual expectations and boundaries experience less SNS-related conflict.
Partner Surveillance Behavior and Its Connection to Neuroticism
Partner surveillance on SNS is one of the most problematic SNS usage patterns in romantic relationships. Muise, Christofides, & Desmarais (2009) identified partner activity monitoring as the mechanism through which Facebook use amplifies jealousy. Frequently checking a partner's posts, likes, comments, and friend lists creates a vicious cycle of anxiety and jealousy.
Marshall, Bejanyan, Di Castro, & Lee (2013) showed that people with higher attachment anxiety engage in more frequent partner surveillance on SNS. High attachment anxiety is strongly associated with neuroticism, and people high in neuroticism tend to use SNS as a surveillance tool driven by the anxiety that "my partner might be interested in someone else."
Fox & Warber (2014) identified the core problem as surveillance behavior creating "information asymmetry." The surveiller possesses detailed information about the partner's SNS activity but lacks the context (why they liked that person, what the background of that photo is). This lack of context generates negative interpretations and unnecessary jealousy.
Tokunaga (2011)'s meta-analysis confirmed that partner surveillance on SNS is associated with decreased relationship satisfaction, increased jealousy, and increased intrusive behavior. Surveillance temporarily reduces anxiety but functions as a "safety behavior" that maintains and reinforces anxiety in the long term, unable to break the anxiety cycle.
The Psychology of Online Relationship Visibility
Couples' behavior of displaying their relationship on SNS (using couple photos as profile pictures, making relationship status public, posting about their partner) is called "relationship visibility" and serves complex psychological functions. Papp, Danielewicz, & Cayemberg (2012) confirmed a positive correlation between the frequency of online relationship visibility and relationship satisfaction.
However, Emery, Muise, Dix, & Le (2014) showed that the motivation behind relationship visibility matters. Visibility driven by intrinsic motivation ("I want to express my love for my partner") positively relates to relationship satisfaction, while visibility driven by extrinsic motivation ("I want to show off to others" or "I want to assert ownership of my partner") is associated with relationship instability.
Saslow, Muise, Impett, & Dubin (2013) showed that people with higher attachment anxiety display their relationships on SNS more frequently. This can be interpreted as an attempt to compensate for insecurity about the relationship through public display. The psychology of "I want to confirm this relationship is real by showing everyone" is at work.
When couples have different expectations about online relationship visibility, conflict easily arises. When one partner wants to actively publicize the relationship while the other values privacy, the opposition of "why are you hiding our relationship" versus "why must everything be made public" emerges. This issue can be prevented through explicit dialogue between couples about SNS.
The Problem of Contact with Ex-Partners on SNS
SNS facilitates contact with ex-partners, and multiple studies have shown this affects current relationships. Tong (2013) reported that remaining "friends" with an ex-partner on Facebook is associated with maintaining lingering feelings for the current relationship. When an ex-partner's updates regularly appear in one's feed, counterfactual thinking such as "what if we hadn't broken up" is more easily triggered.
Marshall (2012) showed that people who more frequently view their ex-partner's Facebook page have stronger lingering feelings and lower current mental health. SNS makes a "clean break" difficult. Even when physical distance is maintained, the ex-partner's presence remains constantly visible in digital space, hindering the establishment of psychological distance. Related books can also be found at related books (Amazon).
For the current partner, knowing that their significant other is connected with an ex-partner on SNS can be a source of jealousy and anxiety. Cravens, Leckie, & Whiting (2013) showed that when people learn their partner is interacting with an ex-partner on SNS, trust in the relationship decreases and surveillance behavior increases.
As a solution to this problem, Halpern, Katz, & Carril (2017) recommend that couples explicitly discuss contact with ex-partners on SNS and establish rules that both parties find acceptable. By agreeing in advance on specific boundaries such as "should ex-partners be blocked" and "to what extent are likes and comments acceptable," unnecessary conflicts can be prevented.
Big Five Personality and SNS Usage Patterns
Personality traits significantly shape SNS usage patterns, which in turn mediate the impact on romantic relationships. Seidman (2013) examined in detail the relationship between the Big Five and Facebook usage behavior.
People high in extraversion tend to use SNS more frequently, post more often, and have more friends. In the context of romantic relationships, highly extraverted people are proactive about online relationship visibility, frequently sharing photos and events with their partner. This functions as obtaining social approval through relationship visualization, but may conflict with a partner's sense of privacy.
People high in neuroticism engage in frequent social comparison behavior on SNS, easily feeling dissatisfied with their own relationship after seeing other couples' posts. Appel, Gerlach, & Crusius (2016) showed that exposure to "idealized couple images" on SNS particularly reduces relationship satisfaction for people high in neuroticism. "Upward comparison" - seeing other couples' happy posts and feeling "our relationship is inferior" - amplifies dissatisfaction and jealousy.
People high in agreeableness tend to show less aggressive behavior on SNS (participating in flame wars, negative comments) and display a tolerant attitude toward their partner's SNS activity. People high in conscientiousness have a strong ability to self-manage SNS usage time and are less susceptible to negative relationship effects from excessive SNS immersion. People high in openness tend to use diverse SNS platforms and enjoy sharing their "digital lifestyle" with their partner.
Social Comparison and the Mechanism of Declining Relationship Satisfaction
One of the most harmful effects of SNS on romantic relationships is "social comparison." Based on Festinger (1954)'s social comparison theory, humans have a tendency to compare themselves with others for self-evaluation, and SNS has explosively increased opportunities for this comparison.
Vogel, Rose, Roberts, & Eckles (2014) experimentally demonstrated that others' posts on SNS trigger "upward comparison," reducing self-esteem and life satisfaction. In the context of romantic relationships, seeing other couples' "perfect" posts (luxurious travel, surprise gifts, romantic dates) makes one's own relationship feel "ordinary" or "boring."
However, posts on SNS are selective excerpts of reality, and conflicts and difficulties are typically not shared. Chou & Edge (2012) showed that people who use Facebook more frequently tend to believe more strongly that "other people are happier than me." This "overestimation of others' happiness" creates unjustified dissatisfaction with one's own relationship.
De Vries & Kühne (2015) showed that the impact of social comparison on SNS on relationship satisfaction is moderated by individual self-esteem levels. People with low self-esteem (often those high in neuroticism) are more severely affected by comparison with other couples. Conversely, people with high self-esteem are less likely to have their relationship's value relativized by seeing other couples' posts.
The Effects of Digital Detox and Practical Approaches
As it becomes clear that excessive SNS use negatively affects relationships, research on the effects of "digital detox" is also accumulating. Tromholt (2016)'s experimental study showed that one week of Facebook abstinence produced significant improvements in life satisfaction and well-being. The effect was particularly large for people with high social comparison tendencies on SNS.
Regarding the effects of digital detox for couples, McDaniel & Coyne (2016) proposed the concept of "technoference" - technology's interference with face-to-face communication. Checking one's smartphone during conversations with a partner (phubbing) was shown to be associated with decreased relationship satisfaction and increased conflict.
Roberts & David (2016) confirmed that partner phubbing reduces relationship satisfaction and increases depressive symptoms. The act of "looking at a smartphone while the person is right in front of you" is received as the message "the smartphone is more important than you" and experienced as emotional rejection.
As practical approaches, the following strategies are supported by research. First, establishing "technology-free zones" - restricting smartphone use during meals, the hour before bed, and date time by mutual agreement. Second, turning off SNS notifications and consciously limiting checking times. Third, when the urge to monitor a partner's SNS activity arises, recognizing the emotion behind that urge (anxiety, jealousy, boredom) and addressing it through direct communication. Fourth, establishing regular "digital detox dates" to secure time for focusing on each other without technology.